Zaza Bazaar : Newcastle Upon Tyne

While I pride myself in discovering awesome places to eat in my home turf of Lagos, it's even more fulfilling to discover the most amazing places to eat outside of my jurisdiction(sorry for the legalese), and that's just what I did when I sniffed out Zaza's Bazaar in Newcastle Upon Tyne.

Zaza's Bazaar is any foodies dream come true, with cuisine from at least four different continents under the same roof. It is an insane buffet styled opportunity to sample dishes from various parts of the world while ironically being in the U.K. So while observing my rules to a successful buffet out, Buffet Slayer, I made my way through the offerings.

The Ambiance: With its many vibrant segments, Zaza instantly gives the feeling of a really cool street market(fyi, no such thing exists in Lagos). The various countries are represented with their indigenous designs and huge neon signs. The atmosphere is filled accordingly with music from the represented countries, so very quickly your ears are filled with an unobtrusive mixture that ranges from mariachi to Indian pop.

The Countries 

Japan 

First stop on this international food flight was Asia, where I piled on a Japanese favourite; Sushi. Anyone who knows me knows that I am not a fan of fish, so to taste what I assumed was just raw fish was kind of nerve racking. After a pep talk/orientation on how not all sushi was raw fish, i decided to give it a shot.The Takuan Maki and essentially all the sushi rolls that I tried were a labyrinth of rice with either radishes or cucumbers in the center, with of course some part of fish elegantly nestled on top or in-between. Did I think it was awful? No. But the crunchy center had me imagining I was chomping on fish brains, so yes, while I tried it, I probably won't willingly do that again.

definitely an acquired taste 

Thailand 

Its not Asian cuisine without a little rice, so I just had to try the Thai Curry Rice with mixed vegetables and sweet and sour chicken.

India 

It didn't make sense to leave Asia with just two countries in my tummy so a pit stop to India was in order. I had the Jeer aloo and Pulao rice with paneer jalfrezi, which in plain English is Baby Potatoes cooked with whole cumin and rice with curry, which was amazefest!

Italy

The trip to Italy was made worthwhile by the pasta bolognese which was made fresh to order by the amazing and super cute chef.

You have to love a man who can cook 

Meaty, Cheesy, Al dente Goodness 

The lasagna was simply perfection and put to shame the store bought microwave version I had previously been stuffing my face with.

The real McCoy 

The trip to Italy would have been incomplete without a few slices of pizza.

England

The English section was a representation of quintessentially British cuisine from fish and chips, minced pies, mash and peas, pretty much a lot of what I had been consuming on a daily, so I had to pass (almost at my breaking point here)

Mash, Peas, Fish and Chips a' plenty! 

A "drive by" through the salad bar was in order.

Desserts: No meal is quite complete without a few desserts. The Bazaar offers a frighteningly amazing array of desserts for those who may have enough space to tuck in. Cakes and sweets of a worldwide origin was the best way to end the adventure.

Wallet Control: As a girl on a budget, I was a beneficiary of the Monday Madness discount which guaranteed my tasting buddy a two for the price of one experience. The entire night cost just 13 pounds, the equivalent of less than Four Thousand Naira (gasp).

Staff: The staff were very nice and quite efficient with the dishes being cleared in record time every time I returned with a new conquest.

By the end of the night, I had developed a protrusion in my tummy which was reflective of my journey and with many apologies to the many cuisines I had to shun in an attempt to walk out of the bazaar with some dignity.

If you ever find yourself in Newcastle Upon Tyne, do yourself a favour and visit.

*Zaza Bazaar is located at Unit 8/9 The Gate, Newgate Street, Newcastle, NE 1 5 TG. 

Buffy the Buffet Slayer

With an origin that dates back to the 16th Century in Sweden, the Buffet is the greatest trick played on diners till date. You are put in a room with filled from wall-to-wall with food and are given a license to "eat all you want" for a few hours, o but don't forget, you cannot take anything away. (very Merchant of Venice).

My first ever buffet experience was pretty disappointing. I made the rooky mistake of filling up on a particular dish and in the end had no room left for anything else, and felt like I had wasted money just to eat one meal. I went in with the "Eat and Kill yourself" mentality.

Fast forward to 2013, and having perfected the art of Buffet Dining through years of practice, I headed down to the new and super swanky Intercontinental Hotel in Victoria-Island and put my skills to the test. Follow my tips for successfully eating at a buffet.

Tip No. 1: Have an empty stomach: Remember, this is a game, if you show up at a buffet having eaten a meal, game over!!The restaurant wins!!It is expedient that you have enough room in your tummy. It is also wise to stay away from tight waisted jeans or belts that will obstruct the inevitable expansion of your tummy.

Tip No. 2: Work the Room: By now your tummy should be rumbling and saying swear words at you at the sight of all the food, but DO NOT just grab a plate and dive into the first dish that catches your fancy. All the dishes are usually spaciously displayed, so walk around and know what is up for grabs.

Tip No.3:  Follow the four course rule:In most standard buffets, you have a wide array of bread-rolls, soups, entrees, pastas, meats, sea-food, salads and desserts. God being your strength, you should be able to work your way through everything!! So start small, bread-rolls or entrees first, a soup, a main course, then finish it off with a light dessert. After accomplishing this, you are at liberty to pig out and try anything else that tickles your fancy.

The journey should begin here

after dessert, let the random eating begin!

you might want to avoid this!

Looks like Chapman is on its way to being the official drink in Lagos

Tip No. 4: Portion Control: Keep it light. The idea isn't to pass out on the table. Small servings help you appreciate the meals even more.  You know you've dished too much when people send daggers at you with their eyes when you skip past with your plate.

Tip No. 5: Take "something" away: I am not ashamed to share this tip. Yes, yes, I know the principal rule of the buffet is that you can't take anything food away, BUT, there is no harm in trying.This will only work with light food though. So if you are keen on this tip, step 1, stack your plate with the object of your desire, step 2, casually lay out two serviettes on your plate, step 3;roll up the goods in the serviette and stash it into your big bag, especially carried for the occasion. Always leave something in the plate though. WARNING!! You have less than 30 seconds to do this before the eagle-eyed waiters accost you, or even worse, your fellow diners spot you and shake their heads at you in disdain.

Potential "take-away"

Now that I have passed on my gastronomic wisdom on to you, venture out into the world and conquer those buffet tables. Follow these tips and you will be the envy of the annual office retreat, when everyone else is sick and unable to walk.

Intercontinental's Sunday Buffet costs a handsome N 9,500 per head, not bad given the selection.

Please feel free to send us pictures of your conquests( or failed attempts), and I'll be sure to publish them. As always leave your comments and or questions , reading your hilarious comments are always a blast. AND!! you can follow me on Twitter for weekly foodie news and ramblings slash musings on @ Dedah Eats.

* Intercontinental Hotel's Sunday Buffet is from 12.30 pm to 4pm ...erm...every Sunday. 

French/Italian Cuisine? Oui, per favore

Just in time for French national day, I discovered a very chic restaurant that serves up not just French cuisine but also Italian. La Scala is nestled in the premises of the Musical Society of Nigeria Center, Onikan,(MUSON) home to classical music nationwide. It's strange how I've been to the Center so many times and never noticed the restaurant. So for those who have been just as oblivious of this hot spot, you are welcome.

The Ambiance: La Scala does its best to pay homage to both French and Italian influences with its decor. There is also an infusion of African and even Buddhist artifacts and artworks which work seamlessly together to create the elegant atmosphere. The large table seating and classical music wafting gently in the atmosphere was somewhat reminiscent of a scene out of one of the famous 'godfather' movies.

I can totally picture Don Corleone here

Bar stocked with the usual culprits, you can also get a coffee here

Informal seating by the bar

Erm...interesting

The Menu: At first glance the eight pages, categorized into soups,meats,fish,poultry, salads and vegetarian, did not seem intimidating. However ordering food seemed like an advanced French class, quite a tongue twister. Escargots `a la bourguignonne was just one of the words I had to pronounce, and all that boils down to is snails in garlic butter sauce.

The Food!!!:

The Entree: To be honest, asides the soups, which were pretty pricey, all the starters were a bit ridiculous. The first thing I ordered was something called a Carpaccio, which was described as thin slices of marinated beef topped with parmesan, safe enough. The waiter looked me dead in the eye and goes, 'Can you eat this?' And I retorted with an attitude filled " YES!!I have teeth," rolling my eyes. He smiled and explained to me that my beloved Carpaccio was RAW MEAT!! So let's say that the complimentary bread rolls and butter was more than enough for me. 

The bread rolls were soft and warm and served with just enough salted butter.

The Main meals:

The first hot meal was the "Supreme de volaille `a l'orange" (yes it's okay to bite your tongue trying to pronounce that). This meal is essentially two thinly sliced strips of chicken, sautéed in fresh cream and orange sauce. It also comes with a side serving of plain white rice. 

The sauce was really exquisite, but the corn, peas and carrots swimming in it just reminded me of a bag of store bought mixed vegetables. The flavours from the vegetables did not blend too well with the orange sauce, and just distracted from the rich flavour of the sauce. 

The chicken on the other hand was amazingly seasoned and cooked to perfection.

The second main meal was the "La Tamboure exotic" aka grilled croaker fish in a Hawaiian spicy pineapple sauce. This was a really bold choice for me, because I absolutely hate all types of fish, but after tasting this, I just might have a change of heart. 

Sugar snaps on the side

Two generous slices of spicy grilled fish on a plateau of mashed potatoes surrounded by pineapple sauce with diced peppers and pineapples in it was really an amazing burst of flavours all at once. 

The slice of lemon squeezed on the fish gave it a zesty flavour. Simply ambrosial.

Dessert: For dessert I was expecting a continuation of the French theme with chocolate pastries or airy souffles, but I was disappointed with the mundane option of either ice-cream or fruit salad. It was as though whoever designed the menu just couldn't be bothered to think of anything unique.

The ice-cream was rich and creamy but honestly, I could get that any good ice-cream spot in Lagos.

Wine: What's a french restaurant without wine eh? La Scala has an extensive supply of wines and champagnes (which I spied some bishops knocking back). 

If you are staying away from the bottle, not to worry they make a mean and affordable Chapman, and you can pretend it's red wine.

Portion Control: I actually expected the meals to be much smaller, so I was pleasantly surprised that each meal could feed a party of two. The idea is not to get stupid full. If you have a really healthy appetite, then a plate should be just fine for you.

The Staff: The waiters were clearly heaven sent as they saved me from ordering raw meat. They are excellent food guides. Make sure you ask them for their recommendations, they'll be sure to help you make edible choices. 

Like all fine dining, La Scala is NOT CHEAP!!A three course meal for two will set you back about N 15,000.

15 what!!?

Pocket change for some but not for all. But if you are looking to impress, this is the perfect setting for a power lunch to broker some multimillion transaction or just a cute dinner for two, your call.

La Scala is open for lunch from 12 p.m-3 p.m, and dinner's served from 7 p.m t0 11 p.m.

They've added an extra 30 minutes

*La Scala is located within the Muson Centre, Onikan, Lagos. Call 08032963051 for your reservations. 

As always, feel free to leave your comments and/or questions. Au revoir and happy French National Day.